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Archive for the ‘Work’ Category

I am sure that we have all come across people who are so closed minded or unsmart (I know that is not a real word but I really don’t like to say stupid..oops, said it anyways) that there is almost no point in having any type of conversation with them. Or at least any conversation that involves them changing their own personal narrow minded point of view.

My kids are especially lucky to have been gifted genetically on both sides with stubborness. But even with all the stubborness in my immediate and extended family, when push comes to shove with my family if you actually have a good point you can reason with them. Sometimes you can even get them to agree with you.

Then there are people who are brick walls. They are as thick as one and as deaf as one and talking to them is actually like talking to a wall but the wall is probably more intellligent.

red bricks wall
(Photo courtesy of ezioman)

As you guys can guess, I had a frustrating experience with one of “them” the other day.

I have been debating about whether or not to write about this because I don’t like to label or judge people. I also don’t like talking negatively about people or making fun of them. I debated about it quite bit and decided that the point I will get to in the end is important enough to make.

So back to the story. I was working the other evening. The ER tends to bring out the worst in people whether it be patients, families and even the staff. People are stressed, feel ill, worried, anxious and of course impatient. I am generally patient but I am human and sometimes things do affect me. For instance the 10th time in 5 minutes someone asks me the same thing. I digress though.

The other evening there was an old woman in who was in pretty good shape for her age. She came in with her two grown sons. Forget about the fact that they were told numerous times that each patient can only have one person with them in the ER and they kept ignoring the guard and finding their way in.

That wasn’t even the problem. The sons’ mannerisms, manner of talking and choice of words really bothered me. Where I worked that evening is a kind of closed cubicle with me on the inside and the doctor and patients at the mouth of it. Basically a really unsafe scenario because if a patient gets violent I am cornered.

At one point one of the sons got into a shouting match with the doctor and said “So what should I do? I should slaughter the doctor?” As you can see really inappropriate.

IMG_9038
(Photo courtesy of Neeta Lind)
When they came over to me for blood tests, I started a conversation with the son while I was taking care of his mother. I first bought up the insight I had had about myself just a few days earlier when I had realized how some phrases I use I should be more careful about. I then tried to gently tell him how his choice of words was really not appropriate. I ended up talking to a brick wall.

Now I understand that when people are under stress they are less receptive, but that was not the issue here. This was just a very angry, slightly unsmart and close minded person. After about a minute or two I just gave up. Especially after he said that things only started moving for his mother in the ER once he started yelling and saying things like he had. (Little did he know that I held up sending his mother’s blood tests for a really long time because of that comment. Yup, the stubborn not nice part of me rears its head once in a while. I am sure I will have to pay for that karma at some point.)

Initially I found myself getting really upset at his guy. I mean come on man, I am giving you my time and words of wisdom, don’t you think you can just listen and take it to heart? I joke but being honest I think it did bother me that I really had a good point to make and something that if he took on board would make his life better and less angry and confrontational and he wanted to no part of it. He barely even acknowledged my words.

I also don’t like the bullying attitude where people think they get their way better or faster by yelling. Which is probably why I said something to begin with.

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination......365/365

Don’t get me wrong. As much as I would love to educate the world and help everyone live their lives better, I know that I am not going to change everyone. I also know that I don’t know everything. Not by a long shot.

That doesn’t stop me from trying because I have found that pointing something out to someone in a friendly way often makes them pause and think before they do the same thing in the future.

And then there are times that I just give up when I see the conversation is going nowhere except for getting on my nerves. A conversation like I had with “that” man. Times like that are really just a waste of your breath because the person is either too wrapped up in themselves or not intelligent enough to have a meaningful conversation. Or maybe they really are very narrow and close minded and see the world only through their own point of view.

We see the inability to carry on a productive conversation with all kinds of people and often times with people who are hateful or rascists. I had gotten a rather hateful and shocking comment on a previous post of mine. A comment that I chose not to air on my blog because the person writing it just spewed hate and one sidedness.

What I have learned from both that incident and the work incident is that there are just times where no amount of reason, goodwill or nice words will help. There are people who don’t want to hear a point of view other than their own and have no interest in change.

So sometimes it is better to just walk away and remember that there are people who cannot be reasoned with. Or at least people who don’t want to be reasoned with. You cannot help anyone who does not want to help themselves. Remember that the only thing you can do is to change your own reaction to them and their behavior. And you can be thankful that you yourself have the capacity and desire to reason.

Have you ever been in this kind of frustrating situation?

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I am sure that we have all come across people who are so closed minded or unsmart (I know that is not a real word but I really don’t like to say stupid..oops, said it anyways) that there is almost no point in having any type of conversation with them. Or at least any conversation that involves them changing their own personal narrow minded point of view.

My kids are especially lucky to have been gifted genetically on both sides with stubborness. But even with all the stubborness in my immediate and extended family, when push comes to shove with my family if you actually have a good point you can reason with them. Sometimes you can even get them to agree with you.

Then there are people who are brick walls. They are as thick as one and as deaf as one and talking to them is actually like talking to a wall but the wall is probably more intellligent.

red bricks wall
(Photo courtesy of ezioman)

As you guys can guess, I had a frustrating experience with one of “them” the other day.

I have been debating about whether or not to write about this because I don’t like to label or judge people. I also don’t like talking negatively about people or making fun of them. I debated about it quite bit and decided that the point I will get to in the end is important enough to make.

So back to the story. I was working the other evening. The ER tends to bring out the worst in people whether it be patients, families and even the staff. People are stressed, feel ill, worried, anxious and of course impatient. I am generally patient but I am human and sometimes things do affect me. For instance the 10th time in 5 minutes someone asks me the same thing. I digress though.

The other evening there was an old woman in who was in pretty good shape for her age. She came in with her two grown sons. Forget about the fact that they were told numerous times that each patient can only have one person with them in the ER and they kept ignoring the guard and finding their way in.

That wasn’t even the problem. The sons’ mannerisms, manner of talking and choice of words really bothered me. Where I worked that evening is a kind of closed cubicle with me on the inside and the doctor and patients at the mouth of it. Basically a really unsafe scenario because if a patient gets violent I am cornered.

At one point one of the sons got into a shouting match with the doctor and said “So what should I do? I should slaughter the doctor?” As you can see really inappropriate.

IMG_9038
(Photo courtesy of Neeta Lind)
When they came over to me for blood tests, I started a conversation with the son while I was taking care of his mother. I first bought up the insight I had had about myself just a few days earlier when I had realized how some phrases I use I should be more careful about. I then tried to gently tell him how his choice of words was really not appropriate. I ended up talking to a brick wall.

Now I understand that when people are under stress they are less receptive, but that was not the issue here. This was just a very angry, slightly unsmart and close minded person. After about a minute or two I just gave up. Especially after he said that things only started moving for his mother in the ER once he started yelling and saying things like he had. (Little did he know that I held up sending his mother’s blood tests for a really long time because of that comment. Yup, the stubborn not nice part of me rears its head once in a while. I am sure I will have to pay for that karma at some point.)

Initially I found myself getting really upset at his guy. I mean come on man, I am giving you my time and words of wisdom, don’t you think you can just listen and take it to heart? I joke but being honest I think it did bother me that I really had a good point to make and something that if he took on board would make his life better and less angry and confrontational and he wanted to no part of it. He barely even acknowledged my words.

I also don’t like the bullying attitude where people think they get their way better or faster by yelling. Which is probably why I said something to begin with.

The road of life twists and turns and no two directions are ever the same. Yet our lessons come from the journey, not the destination......365/365

Don’t get me wrong. As much as I would love to educate the world and help everyone live their lives better, I know that I am not going to change everyone. I also know that I don’t know everything. Not by a long shot.

That doesn’t stop me from trying because I have found that pointing something out to someone in a friendly way often makes them pause and think before they do the same thing in the future.

And then there are times that I just give up when I see the conversation is going nowhere except for getting on my nerves. A conversation like I had with “that” man. Times like that are really just a waste of your breath because the person is either too wrapped up in themselves or not intelligent enough to have a meaningful conversation. Or maybe they really are very narrow and close minded and see the world only through their own point of view.

We see the inability to carry on a productive conversation with all kinds of people and often times with people who are hateful or rascists. I had gotten a rather hateful and shocking comment on a previous post of mine. A comment that I chose not to air on my blog because the person writing it just spewed hate and one sidedness.

What I have learned from both that incident and the work incident is that there are just times where no amount of reason, goodwill or nice words will help. There are people who don’t want to hear a point of view other than their own and have no interest in change.

So sometimes it is better to just walk away and remember that there are people who cannot be reasoned with. Or at least people who don’t want to be reasoned with. You cannot help anyone who does not want to help themselves. Remember that the only thing you can do is to change your own reaction to them and their behavior. And you can be thankful that you yourself have the capacity and desire to reason.

Have you ever been in this kind of frustrating situation?

Read Full Post »

Happy?
(Photo courtesy of Joe Shlabotnik)

Every day no matter how stressful or hard brings happiness with it. You just need to look out for it and learn to recognize it everyday things. You need to learn to let simple moments infuse the happiness into your day.

This is the second time I have been tagged with the Happy 101 Award. The award means that I have to make a list of ten things that make me happy. Last time, I was tagged for this meme by Heather at Notes from Lapland and I wrote a list of ten things that make me happy in general.

This time because I am not in the greatest of moods (don’t worry nothing important or life changing) in response to the tag by Entropy Girl I have decided to focus on finding 10 things that make me happy today right now. (Besides being tagged of course.)

So here is my list:

1. Hearing my husband’s voice when he called me on his way to work. His voice can generally make me smile.

2. Having a job. Even though like I have mentioned before I am not fully satisfied where I am, I am still happy and grateful to have a job and an income. (5 kids is not cheap!) Having a job is not something I take for granted in this time of recession.

3. The rain today.

Freesia in the Rain
(Photo courtesy of John Morgan)

I live in a country that is plagued by drought. So what if it rained right after my husband and youngest son worked so hard and cleaned all the windows in the house so thoroughly? Or right after my eldest son had the car washed? I do feel bad that my husband got caught in the rain when he took my youngest to the nursery, but still the rain is a blessing.

4. My health. Sure it may not be 100% perfect, but there is nothing like working with ill people to make you appreciate your health.

5. My writing.
WRITE
(Photo courtesy of Karin Dalziel)
The simple act of writing and blogging has given me a lot of joy. It has made me reach deeper into myself and it has taught me to persevere. I have only been blogging for a bit over a month, but have enjoyed it thoroughly and have learned a lot. Writing is something you can do anywhere, when you have a few minutes or a lapse at work like I did today.

6. Having my little girl call for me at 5:45 in the morning to wipe her little tushy on the toilet. Okay, so technically she was calling my husband, but that is also a cause for joy no? Better (for me that is) that she wants her daddy in the middle of the night.
So back to my daughter’s little tushy. I was already up getting ready for work (because otherwise that wake up call would have made my cranky not happy list). She was so cute and adorable. I am also happy she has been toilet trained since age 2. She has saved us a lot of money.

7. Classical or cool music cellphone ringtones. I love hearing an unexpected tune start playing from a co-worker or patient’s cellphone. The upbeat tempos just give an unexpected beat to your day and a momentary change of atmosphere.

8. Hospital Food. Yes, I am weird, but I love the food served at my hospital. From the time I get to work I wait patiently for lunch so I can eat. Or maybe it’s just the novelty of eating a meal I don’t have to cook.

9. My cellphone being quiet today. It’s nice every once in a while to have a quiet non ringing day.

10. Today’s morning shift being slow for the first few hours and only 8 hours long. Not 8 1/2 like evening shift or 9 hours like night shift. It was even slow enough that I was able to write all this at work.

So next time you are having a less than happy day, think hard and I am sure you will be able to think of at least 10 things that make you happy. If I was able to do that today, anyone can.

When have you been able to find happy in an ordinary day?

___________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

I am passing this award on to:

*Nicola at Some Mothers Do Ave Em
*Ed at Little m Long a
*Josie at Sleep is for the Weak
*Dawn at The Moiderer
*Nickie at Typecast
*Trish at Mum’s Gone To.
*Jen at Autism, The King and I
*Mrs. Mad at The Mad House
*Karin at Cafe Bebe
*Sue at Smiffy’s Blog

And anyone who would like this award, I am awarding it to you as well. Please come and take it.

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Age of Conversation 2 : 2008
(Photo courtesy of Ryan Rasmussen)

How many times have we hesitated about having a conversation or doing something with someone because we dreaded what might happen, what their reaction might be? We humans have this thing we do where we project our worries and insecurities on someone else.

If we are worried about someone’s reaction to something we have to say to them, we imagine the conversation. What we would say, what they would say back, what we would reply….In short we have a whole conversation in our heads with someone who we really have no right to speak for.

I would say that 9 out of 10 times, what we think a person thinks, is really not what they are thinking. (Try saying that tongue twister out loud 10 ten times.)

And even if it is, isn’t it better to just go and get the conversation over with instead of stalling and agonizing over it. What is the worst case scenario? That the person really doesn’t like you or thinks you are an idiot or whatever it may be? Big deal. You can then deal with it and move on.

For the past few weeks I have been agonizing over how to tell my boss that I think I have had enough of working in the ER and I want to find a different position in another ward. Part of my hesitation was also that I knew I wanted out of where I am but I was not sure where I wanted to go. The insecurity of making a decision to end one thing without a clear direction of what you want in the short term is tough.

If I am being completely truthful, I probably want a job in another field or career, but for now it is just one day at a time. I have an idea of where I want my life to head, but I still do need a paying job at this moment, and at this point my nursing career is probably the best one I can find. So I am staying a nurse, for the time being.

Ideally at this stage, I would like to find a position in one of the hospital clinics with no shifts or Friday work. (Here Fridays are like Sundays.) I had spoken to the head nurse of Oncology to see what was available and there is a position for me if I want it and the hospital management approve my transfer. I was told that it was best for me to go and observe the work day for at least a few hours to see whether the type of work appeals to me.

I didn’t want to do that without cluing my boss in because I didn’t want her hearing about it and thinking I had gone behind her back. So I sweated it out. How am I going to tell her? What happens if I don’t end up transferring out of the ER? Am I going to pay for it and get stuck with shifts I don’t want as backlash from wanting to leave? I finally just bit the bullet, called her and made an appointment to speak to her.

As usual, it turns out that all my worrying was for naught. While my boss can at times be unpredictable in her reactions (which is why I hesitated), she was as sweet as can be. She said she understood. She also said she would never try to forcefully keep someone who wanted a change.

So it seems that all my agonizing, worrying, planning and the simulated conversations I had run through in my head were a waste of time and energy and all unnecessary. I should have had this conversation weeks ago. Maybe it was my worry about disappointing someone or my concerns for my work status being compromised by a bad decision on my part. Or maybe what was really stopping me was the fact that change is hard. Starting in a new place from scratch after 15 years is not necessarily an easy position to be in.

What I have learned is that I should not hesitate and worry as much. My body and soul know when something is not right and I need a change. This whole conversation should have taken place weeks ago, because the problem was not with my boss, it was in my mind.

90/365 - Just feel better *EXPLORED!*
(Photo courtesy of Brandon P)

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Colosseum (Coliseum) of Imperial Rome (2006-05-149)
(Photo courtesy of Vyacheslav Argenberg )

You know what they say, when in Rome, do like the Romans do.

In this day and age of travel, I think the phrase should be: When visiting countries that are foreign to you, do remember to review the laws of the land.

Well last week, my husband learned, when in Germany do like the Germans do. Or at the least he learned that it is best to familiarize yourself with any laws that you might possibly break. Sadly it was a lesson that cost him 30 Euros. (It could have been a lot worse though.)

My husband travels on average about two weeks out of the month. There are times when in one week he will be in 6 or 7 countries. That’s a lot of laws to familiarize yourself with.

Last week he was in Germany for a day and a half. The morning of the second day started off okay. He caught a cab quite quickly to get to his first meeting. And then his day started going downhill. The cab was pulled over by cops. My husband was then given a ticket for not having his seatbelt on.

My husband was a bit flabbergasted. Nowhere in the cab was there any sign stating the seatbelt law. The cab driver had also conveniently forgotten to mention it. It seems that initially the cab was pulled over because the cab driver was not wearing a seatbelt. As soon as the cops saw that there was a passenger in the car, they then fined my husband and explained that it was okay for the cab driver not to be wearing a seatbelt. Why? Because the law states that if a cab driver has passenger he does not have to wear a seatbelt because it would hinder him if he needed to make a quick escape.

Then the cops told my husband to pay them on the spot. My husband was incredulous. He told the cop that if he were to give cash to a cop in the USA he would be arrested on the spot for bribery. They then asked for his passport, the conversation went on a bit longer but luckily my husband managed to calm down and keep from getting arrested and just paid the 30 Euros.

I know from hubby’s previous trips that other countries have weird laws as well. For instance in Singapore there are fines for littering, jay walking, failing to flush toilets and chewing gum. Hubby actually loves the chewing gum law because he hates people chewing gum. But if you are a drug dealer you better not be caught, because Singapore had a death penalty for that. Death for drug traffickers under Singapore law.
(Photo courtesy of Alexander Steffler )

I don’t know if it is true, but I was told that in Thailand it is illegal to leave the house if you are not wearing your underwear. It’s also against the law to step on the nation’s currency.

Each country it seems has its own unique laws. Some that are obvious and some not so obvious. It can certainly get a bit tricky.

So what laws of different countries do you guys know that you think my husband should be aware of? I prefer the fine money being spent on gifts for me.

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