Posts Tagged ‘friends’

I know that Robert Frost (or at least I think it was Robert Frost) said that “good fences make good neighbors”, but I don’t think that I necessarily agree. Sometimes fences are good, like for keeping your neighbors’ dogs from pooping on your lawn, but I digress.

I believe that getting to know your neighbors and being on friendly terms with them really adds richness to your daily life.

I live in a town of about 1500 families and that number is growing rapidly. The neighborhood in that town that I live in is a close knit community.

Out of the approximately 35-40 families that live on my block, there are only about 6 or 7 who I do not know. The kids in my community play outside together, they go to daycare, school and after school activities together.

We don’t think twice about borrowing things from each other. When our appliances break down, we help each other out until theya re repaired. When we need help or babysitting, we watch each others kids.

When there is a happy occasion or sadly when there is an illness, death or tragedy everyone bands together and lends a hand.

My life would be very lonely if it were not for the friends and neighbors I have in my community.

I have a hard time understanding how people can live next door to each other for years and not even know each others names. Maybe that is normal adn I am just lucky.

I think it’s not necessarily just my specific community because in the previous community I lived in it was the same way. I think I am lucky that I live in a country that is known for its warm hospitality.

In my case, being associated with a synagogue as well increases the sociabilty of the community and the feeling of togetherness.

Right outside my door is community of warm and loving people who care about each toher and the community.

I am lucky and blessed.

This post was inspired by the prompt of “outside my front door” at The Gallery Week 5 run by Tara at Sticky Fingers.

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I have always associated addiction with someone hooked on drugs, alcohol and even on cigarrettes. Now I find myself asking am I addicted?

(Photo courtesy of Alan Cleaver )

I don’t do drugs, have never even smoked and I don’t like alcohol. No way any normal person can call me an addict! Or maybe no way any one can call me normal…. But anyways, lately for some reason, people (like my family) keep telling me that I am addicted. I have no idea why. So that got me looking into the definition of addiction.

According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary an addiction is:
1 : the quality or state of being addicted
2 : compulsive need for and use of a habit-forming substance (as heroin, nicotine, or alcohol) characterized by tolerance and by well-defined physiological symptoms upon withdrawal; broadly : persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful


Okay, so according to definition 1 the verb addict means:
1 : to devote or surrender (oneself) to something habitually or obsessively
2 : to cause addiction to a substance in (a person or animal)

Sadly, after closer examination of definition 1 of the verb addict, I must hang my hang in shame, stand in front of all of you and say: My name is Susie and I am an addict.

At this point of time my addiction is blogging. In the past I have been addicted to exercise. (I have not been moving much from the computer so no, that is not a problem right now.) I have also been addicted (many times) to food. I have even been addicted to cleaning. (Okay maybe not really, but I was addicted to having a clean house.) I am thinking that at this point my husband would probably be happy for me to return to my cleaning addiction and my exercise addiction.

So it seems that if you obsessively devote yourself to something, you are addicted to it. In this day and age I would hazard a guess that most people are addicted to something. Some addictions are harmful and life threatening. Others are less harmful.

I really do enjoy blogging. I also think I am still learning the ropes which is why it takes me so long to get my blogging done. Finding good pictures to go with the blog is also time consuming. Add to all that the fact that I am trying to be part of the “blogging community” out there. There are some amazing blogs and bloggers out there with such diverse points of view. I will even venture to say that a few of the people I have “met” through blogging are going to continue to be friends for a long time. That is what is so beautiful about the internet. You can be thousands of miles away from someone and still connect in a meaningful way. In many ways sometimes even deeper than friends in your “real” life because you can be more open and honest.

Why Aren't You Blogging?
(Photo courtesy of Mike Licht )

So what do you guys think about blogging? Is it an addiction? A habit that should be broken?

So what now? How do I still continue to do something I love and enjoy while not neglecting other important aspects of my life? If anyone has words of wisdom, it would be great to hear them.

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Warning: if you don’t believe that things in life have a purpose or a reason, you may not want to continue reading this.


Okay, now that my disclaimer is out of the way and only the believers are left I can continue. When I say believers I am referring to those of us who believe that life is not just a random jumble but that life has an order, a sense and a purpose to it.

Of course there are those of us, myself included, who believe in God and are not ashamed to admit it. Okay, I will come right out and say that I am proud to believe in God and higher powers.

I was just reading a blog post yesterday over at Sleep is for the Weak about people being hesitant to talk about religion on blogs, but I think it is fine. Everyone just has to learn to respect each others opinions. Or maybe I am just a new blogger, so I don’t know what I have stepped into yet. Am hoping that my naiveness and belief in people’s goodness will serve me okay.

So anyways, back to coincidences.

I personally don’t believe there is such a thing. It’s always been my motto. I think my friends and family are probably sick of me saying, there is no such thing as a coincidence. Oh well-that’s their problem I guess.

I think you might not always see a connection between things occurring in your life, but many times somewhere along the road, you might have that epiphany as to why something happened. Maybe some horrible event left you stranded somewhere and it was there you met your soul mate. Maybe it was a stranger’s smile that gave you a boost of self confidence on your way to a job interview. Or maybe some random fortune cookie got you thinking and prompted an action by you. There are even sites like this one that has lists of interesting coincidences.

(Photo courtesy of Robert S. Donovan )

It can be a random comment or it can be something as stressful as a disease that changes your whole perspective on life. About six years ago I was hospitalized with mild hemiparesis. The doctors had no idea what the problem was. Those 10 days were some of the worst in my life. They were racked with fear and worry. (They were also filled with reading 7 books, staying in pj’s all day, not cooking or cleaning and getting served 3 meals a day, but really I was worried.)

It was only a few years later that I realized that my illness or “dis-ease” was the best thing that could have happened to me. (And before someone comments, my kids and husband are also the best things that happened to me, but a different category of best thing).

That hospitalization led me to alternative medicine professionals and others who changed my whole view on life. It has been a process of quite a few years, but it sure as heck was the disease that was the catalyst. Again, no coincidence.

I am the kind of person who is spontaneous and maybe sometimes a bit too naive. Most of the time, when it comes to people and emotions, I am a good judge of character. Even more so if it is someone I don’t know at all, or not very well.

So it is not a surprise to me when I suddenly hear or read something from someone and feel that the person was led into my life at the moment for a reason. Sometimes it is the message in their words-written or verbal. Sometimes I am meant to connect with the person and open up to them-both for myself and for them.

I have been chatting on the internet for about 3 years now and have made quite a nice group of online virtual friends. Some of these friends I have spoken to, one I have actually met, and quite a few I correspond with by email or *horror* snail mail. I got to the forum I chat on by accident. I was looking on the site for something else and happened across the forum. Again a “coincidence”. Uh uh! I don’t think so.

I Thank God For You
(Photo courtesy of vistamommy )

It was on this forum that I stumbled onto that I have been helped and helped others. I have made friends. I have come to understand cultures and religions other than my own. Others have come to understand things about my culture and religion.

It was also through some of these friends that I was exposed to the world of blogging. The blogging that has become a source of great satisfaction for me. I have also in just a few weeks in blogland, made quite a few more like minded virtual friends who I really enjoy corresponding with.

Even just yesterday, I happened across a blog I have never read before. With blog reading it is kind of like a blog to blog treasure hunt. You start with one blog you like, click on that blogger’s favorite blogs and then on and on. Focus Susie! You are digressing!

Okay back to the story about this blog. The blog’s author is a single mum named Nicola. The post was one that intuitively sparked something in me and I asked her to contact me by email which she did. Being total strangers, LOL, we of course hit it off right away. The emails that followed were for both of us the exact hit over the head we both needed at this moment. We both have many common views and we both believe that this connection is not a coincidence.

There is a beautiful poem by an anonymous author that goes like this:

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or
a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you
will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is
usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have
come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you
with guidance and support, to aid you physically,
emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a
godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason
you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an
inconvenient time, this person will say or do something
to bring the relationship to an end.

Sometimes they die.
Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.

What we must realise is that our need has been met, our
desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you
sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .
Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount
of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things
you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional
foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the
person, and put what you have learned to use in all
other relationships and areas of your life. It is said
that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

I believe that even the season and lifetime relationships are for a reason. Every coincidence is like the swell a tiny little a rock makes when it is thrown into the ocean. Everything is connected. I believe everything happens for a reason.

No one is going to convince me that there is such a thing as a mere coincidence. In my book, everything truly does have a reason, even if at times I have no idea what that may be.

So next time something less than pleasant happens to you, instead of bemoaning your fate, think positively. Remember it is no coincidence you are going through this event right now. You never know, you might even be lucky enough to be able to look back and see the blessing it has become.

P.S. You don’t think it is a coincidence you read this today do you? *wink wink*

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My second son turned 18 two weeks ago. (Where did the time go? But that a subject for another day) We are Sabbath observant and he asked to have 6 friends over for the Sabbath in honor of his birthday. Six 18 year old boys=lots and lots of food and cooking. So I worked hard for a few days and Friday afternoon before sundown his 6 friends descended upon us.

I expected a lot more draining of a weekend, but I have to say I truly enjoyed myself. I got to meet some of my son’s friends whom I had never met. I got to see the ones I knew again. I got to speak to them all and see how they behaved and how the group behaved with each other.  I got to laugh at their jokes and learn some new things about my son.

I have 5 kids and I always knew that it is important to know who your kids’ friends are, but as my kids have gotten older and have started going to school out of our community, I haven’t been as in touch with their friends. I also don’t always have the energy or patience to host my kids friends even for an afternoon. Once our kids reach school age, I would say they probably spend on an average more time with their friends than they do with their parents and family. The older the kids get the less we see of them and the more time they spend with their peers. That is why it is so important to really take an active interest in their friends and have them over as much as you can.

So get to know your kids’ friends and try and spend time getting to know them and see the relationship your child has with them.

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